Procreate | 𝐁𝐓𝐒 𝐀𝐑𝐌𝐘 
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Letting You Go
For context, after battling with cancer for 1.5 years, my mom eventually passed away last week on Monday April 4th. It has been a really tough journey for my family and I. And ever since my mom passed away, I always knew I wanted to draw something to express my feelings, but once the wake services and funeral was over, I found it difficult to pick up my Apple Pencil to draw anything. Plus, I was extremely exhausted. I wanted to draw something simple yet meaningful. Maybe I was thinking too much about it. I was re-reading my eulogy for my mom and I remembered how I mentioned about BTS’ song Butterfly and how towards the very end of my eulogy I said I’m ready to let go of my mom just like a little butterfly, so she can fly right on home, Heaven-bound. So I decided to draw me and my sister releasing a butterfly into the sky, a metaphorical representation of the both of us letting her go.The past few days were kinda tough. While I’ve been handling her passing pretty well, there were few nights where I miss her physical presence very much. I had two dreams about my mother and each time, I ended up waking up in tears, and I would cry for an hour or so. It felt like never-ending flow of tears and sadness. But once I was done crying, I felt a lot better after that.
I know she’s in Heaven, a place that’s so much better than this suffering, temporal Earth. My mom has a head start from the rest of us, if anything. And I’m kinda envious.
I know there will be more nights of loneliness, feelings of absence and grief, I know, but we’re ready. Mama, we release you, we let you go, like a delicate butterfly, and even though we were afraid to let you go before, but now we’re not afraid anymore. So fly home, mama. And wait for us. Not today, not tomorrow, but when it’s our time many years in the future, we’ll come too but first we'll live out the purposes we have here in this temporal Earth, we will live our lives to the fullest, and then we will meet again, we will reunite again. But until then wait for us, Mama.Apr 15, 2022
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