@wdzg's post on Artfol
Vent ::: "Time keeps on looping"
Sometimes, I used to think if whatever I did would hurt things or hurt other people... I lose track of sleep, I'm often trying to dig up and mend what used to define me in the older days of my online career...
Trying to get back everything I've lost... All the friendships that were destroyed at my hands, the freakouts, the anger, and hatred I held onto thinking it was my only way...
I see now what drives me and everything I did in the wrong direction, I always try to fix and rebuild everything I break, and for what? For everyone to tell me that I never change? Or that I was better off forgotten? Or desperately trying to cling to whatever made me happiest in the past, and it's driven me further and further into the hole I put myself in.
... "People can change" People can change, I maybe a broken person trying to suppress who I was in the past, and each time I keep digging, the very past that brought me my "happiness" burns my heart deeper and deeper to the point where it makes me remember why people move forwards and not backwards...
Looking to a broken past to fix everything has been what's hurting things, and burning me... Now that the most recent of things that I aspire for in the future have been nothing but the true happiness for which I seek... I began to truly feel Hope's touch again...
I couldn't stop wheeping knowing that I found the very thing I needed... And now that I have it... it's finally time to start moving things forward again, to keep pushing for a bright future, to keep hoping and dreaming, and most importantly...
Follow my heart... This night has been something else for all the wrong reasons... Perhaps saying goodbye was the hardest thing I could overcome... Even if it is a permanent goodbye to someone I wanted to rebuild with... Some things just aren't worth rebuilding... Something I wish I knew in my heart a long time ago... If only I could've heard it telling me not to go back sooner...Jan 17, 2024
Sometimes, I used to think if whatever I did would hurt things or hurt other people... I lose track of sleep, I'm often trying to dig up and mend what used to define me in the older days of my online career...
Trying to get back everything I've lost... All the friendships that were destroyed at my hands, the freakouts, the anger, and hatred I held onto thinking it was my only way...
I see now what drives me and everything I did in the wrong direction, I always try to fix and rebuild everything I break, and for what? For everyone to tell me that I never change? Or that I was better off forgotten? Or desperately trying to cling to whatever made me happiest in the past, and it's driven me further and further into the hole I put myself in.
... "People can change" People can change, I maybe a broken person trying to suppress who I was in the past, and each time I keep digging, the very past that brought me my "happiness" burns my heart deeper and deeper to the point where it makes me remember why people move forwards and not backwards...
Looking to a broken past to fix everything has been what's hurting things, and burning me... Now that the most recent of things that I aspire for in the future have been nothing but the true happiness for which I seek... I began to truly feel Hope's touch again...
I couldn't stop wheeping knowing that I found the very thing I needed... And now that I have it... it's finally time to start moving things forward again, to keep pushing for a bright future, to keep hoping and dreaming, and most importantly...
Follow my heart... This night has been something else for all the wrong reasons... Perhaps saying goodbye was the hardest thing I could overcome... Even if it is a permanent goodbye to someone I wanted to rebuild with... Some things just aren't worth rebuilding... Something I wish I knew in my heart a long time ago... If only I could've heard it telling me not to go back sooner...Jan 17, 2024
Comments
As someone who was in a similar situation a few years prior, i understand and know that moving on from relationships and in general is not an easy feat (especially when your brain starts replaying both good and bad past memories like a GIF), and how mentally tasking it would be to fully come to terms with that person not being in your life anymore. im glad you have managed to find a remedy of hope in this situation, and i wish that things would go only uphill from here for you.
stay safe ♡
stay safe ♡
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I've been in a similar situation before, and yeah moving on sucks and isn't easy and I'm glad that you found a way to move on, I hope that from now on going into the future it'll be only easier for u to move on :>
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•I really understand and feel this
I use to wanted to go back to mend some rather questionable and broken relationships with old friends of mine But it took me a long time to realize it wasn't worth it
They were in my life for some time and now they're not, Took me forever to accept that and move on But once I did it felt so freeing and I felt like I wasn't being bond by some guilt
I'm not sure exactly how those relationships were caught broken But it's in the past now I made peace with the people I could and with the people I couldn't reach to...I truly hope they're better bc i know I am
I use to wanted to go back to mend some rather questionable and broken relationships with old friends of mine But it took me a long time to realize it wasn't worth it
They were in my life for some time and now they're not, Took me forever to accept that and move on But once I did it felt so freeing and I felt like I wasn't being bond by some guilt
I'm not sure exactly how those relationships were caught broken But it's in the past now I made peace with the people I could and with the people I couldn't reach to...I truly hope they're better bc i know I am
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•This night has been much more... I truly love and appreciate everyone in not just in my circle but close to me as a whole. Sometimes it's hard to say goodbye... And even harder to push forward... Maybe we can't do this alone, we can push forward together.
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