@lazylisa02art's post on Artfol
How do you find out if you are aromantic???? 
Like, I'm personally not really interested in falling in love myself. Actually, I think of it as a bit annoying.
I can't understand why people like stuff like holding hands, kissing and so on(?).
Though, I think romance in fictional stories is actually kinda nice because it gives the story some kinda (cute?) spice.
But I seriously couldn't say that I want to experience love myself...... like, I said earlier, I think it's annoying and I kinda get goosebumps when I imagine someone wants to kiss me(?).
Everytime I tell this someone of my family they are like "No worries, you are overthinking this. Sooner or later you will fall in love and find someone you want to be together with."
Like, ok... maybe I'm overthinking but I'm almost 20 and I even never had a small crush on someone?!
And then I look at my friends and everyone finds someone they fall in love with????
I seriously don't know....
I did a bit of research on aromantic and thought, yeah could be you... but then again I hear from others I'm just overthinking.... :/
How did you find out you're aro (or aro/ace)?Apr 22, 2022
Like, I'm personally not really interested in falling in love myself. Actually, I think of it as a bit annoying.
I can't understand why people like stuff like holding hands, kissing and so on(?).
Though, I think romance in fictional stories is actually kinda nice because it gives the story some kinda (cute?) spice.
But I seriously couldn't say that I want to experience love myself...... like, I said earlier, I think it's annoying and I kinda get goosebumps when I imagine someone wants to kiss me(?).
Everytime I tell this someone of my family they are like "No worries, you are overthinking this. Sooner or later you will fall in love and find someone you want to be together with."
Like, ok... maybe I'm overthinking but I'm almost 20 and I even never had a small crush on someone?!
And then I look at my friends and everyone finds someone they fall in love with????
I seriously don't know....
I did a bit of research on aromantic and thought, yeah could be you... but then again I hear from others I'm just overthinking.... :/
How did you find out you're aro (or aro/ace)?Apr 22, 2022
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well everytime i think of myself having a crush or falling in love i actually feel sick to my stomach and want to start crying 
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you sound pretty aromantic to me tbh
and, well
I never had a crush in my life and (when I was in a relationship ) always felt really uncomfortable with public displays of affections. and hated the need to give kisses, hugs, holding hands, etc. this doesn't mean I never felt love, but the romantic part is a part I never could feel
I either never felt comfortable sleeping (not sexual ) with partners, I don't find it necessary. I'd literally sleep in different beds
also, I always tried to make the relationship more as a close friendship than a romantic couple. always said "we're a team" instead of "we're a couple" and always disliked to say girlfriend/boyfriend/significant other, it made me so uncomfortable too
never liked to give romantic gifts, actually I always disappointed my exes because I never celebrated Valentines with them and never did something romantic like a date, it was always in a friendship way
like go to a romantic date in a restaurant? and need to dress fancy/good for a date? roses and those things? flirt with each other? not for me at all
I was used to think I was picky, then demiromantic, now I know I was always aromantic trying to force myself to be romantic like my partners were to fit their expectations
and, well
I never had a crush in my life and (when I was in a relationship ) always felt really uncomfortable with public displays of affections. and hated the need to give kisses, hugs, holding hands, etc. this doesn't mean I never felt love, but the romantic part is a part I never could feel
I either never felt comfortable sleeping (not sexual ) with partners, I don't find it necessary. I'd literally sleep in different beds
also, I always tried to make the relationship more as a close friendship than a romantic couple. always said "we're a team" instead of "we're a couple" and always disliked to say girlfriend/boyfriend/significant other, it made me so uncomfortable too
never liked to give romantic gifts, actually I always disappointed my exes because I never celebrated Valentines with them and never did something romantic like a date, it was always in a friendship way
like go to a romantic date in a restaurant? and need to dress fancy/good for a date? roses and those things? flirt with each other? not for me at all
I was used to think I was picky, then demiromantic, now I know I was always aromantic trying to force myself to be romantic like my partners were to fit their expectations
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โขThat sounds pretty aromantic to me.
I'm questioning whether I'm aromantic myself (different situation though), so maybe I'm not the most qualified person to answer this, but from what I know about asexuality, you can enjoy romantic/sexual stuff in stories and be aro/ace. It's more about whether or not you want to experience it yourself.
As for everyone who said you're overthinking and should give it some time, guess who heard the same thing when they said they aren't interested in sexual stuff?
I think having romantic/sexual relationships is just so normalized that people expect them to happen to everyone.
I'm questioning whether I'm aromantic myself (different situation though), so maybe I'm not the most qualified person to answer this, but from what I know about asexuality, you can enjoy romantic/sexual stuff in stories and be aro/ace. It's more about whether or not you want to experience it yourself.
As for everyone who said you're overthinking and should give it some time, guess who heard the same thing when they said they aren't interested in sexual stuff?
I think having romantic/sexual relationships is just so normalized that people expect them to happen to everyone.
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โขFrom this post, it does indeed sound like you're probably aromantic.
I myself am not fully aro, just on the aromantic spectrum, though i am entirely ace. I rarely ever feel romantic attraction, ive had like three crushes but most of them im not even sure /were/ crushes, rather than just deeply loving a friend (and what's the difference anyway??), and romance being plastered and talked about everywhere frustrates me to no end because i often have no way to relate - especially when things go beyond handholding and minor kissing, or even full-on into 18+ territory.
again, I'm not entirely aro, just arospec and ace, so your experience may vary quite a bit.
Regardless it certainly sounds from your post like you're aromantic or arospec.
I myself am not fully aro, just on the aromantic spectrum, though i am entirely ace. I rarely ever feel romantic attraction, ive had like three crushes but most of them im not even sure /were/ crushes, rather than just deeply loving a friend (and what's the difference anyway??), and romance being plastered and talked about everywhere frustrates me to no end because i often have no way to relate - especially when things go beyond handholding and minor kissing, or even full-on into 18+ territory.
again, I'm not entirely aro, just arospec and ace, so your experience may vary quite a bit.
Regardless it certainly sounds from your post like you're aromantic or arospec.
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Honestly, sounds a bit like myself. I'm aro/ace and nearly 30. Still never had a crush on anyone, or desired romance. And the idea of being in a romantic relationship with all the baggage along with that sounds like hell to me.
I'll be honest - it ain't easy to tell if you are aromatic. Because it's a negative - proving you never want anything with anyone. But if you feel like you wouldnt want anything, you probably are. And if you find later down the line that doesn't fit anymore - that's fine! You've found out more about yourself. It's not like you have to find your identity on the first try - you can change it and don't let anyone make you feel bad for that.
I thought I was a "late bloomer" myself... Until my peers asked me if I had any crushes and I said I'd never had one. I was 17, and they looked at me like I had 2 heads suddenly
. Turns out, not having crushes at that age is abnormal.
I'll be honest - it ain't easy to tell if you are aromatic. Because it's a negative - proving you never want anything with anyone. But if you feel like you wouldnt want anything, you probably are. And if you find later down the line that doesn't fit anymore - that's fine! You've found out more about yourself. It's not like you have to find your identity on the first try - you can change it and don't let anyone make you feel bad for that.
I thought I was a "late bloomer" myself... Until my peers asked me if I had any crushes and I said I'd never had one. I was 17, and they looked at me like I had 2 heads suddenly
. Turns out, not having crushes at that age is abnormal.โข
โขSounds to me that you probably are. Iโd embrace it for now and keep an open mind. Things can always change with time, or they also may not. Not aro, but I am ace so speaking from that experience.
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Love is a complicated feeling. Just know that there is no pressure in falling in love, getting married, etc.
If it happens, it happens. If not, then something else will make you happy. As long as you are happy and comfortable with where you are now, then it's alright.
Good luck on your journey to your happiness!
If it happens, it happens. If not, then something else will make you happy. As long as you are happy and comfortable with where you are now, then it's alright.
Good luck on your journey to your happiness!
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โขHonestly just from this post I'd say you could definitely be somewhere on the aromantic spectrum.
I'm still confused about this myself but I'm pretty sure people who feel romantic attraction would have had at least 1 crush (specifically on real people..) until the age of 18 lol + they don't usually question what ever is attraction cuz they just feel it?
I've accepted that I'm probably aroace even though it's really confusing because I actually WANT to find my person and do romantic things in theory but I've never felt any attraction towards a specific person if that makes any sense Also my teenage years were just "pfff dating? Ain't nobody got time for that, I'm too busy with schoolwork and actually FUN things, who needs relationship drama"
Yeah.. should have realised it sooner
I'm still confused about this myself but I'm pretty sure people who feel romantic attraction would have had at least 1 crush (specifically on real people..) until the age of 18 lol + they don't usually question what ever is attraction cuz they just feel it?
I've accepted that I'm probably aroace even though it's really confusing because I actually WANT to find my person and do romantic things in theory but I've never felt any attraction towards a specific person if that makes any sense
Also my teenage years were just "pfff dating? Ain't nobody got time for that, I'm too busy with schoolwork and actually FUN things, who needs relationship drama" Yeah.. should have realised it sooner
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