@reedshrine's post on Artfol
To those who struggle with mental health.
Edit: sorry wasn’t able to use the right words my question is not if it is normal that life has up and downs the question is what are things that bring you to fall.
For me its just often that I have phases were I just have fun fucking up myself. I like to get high on my lows until I crash on the ground and find myself back in mind hell. Then I start working again on it and try riverine better and it’s a shit ton of work and I don’t get why my brain is so silly and thinks this is funny.
I’m wonderi if any ppl here sometimes cause their down phase themselves or if it’s more other stuff like a depressive episode, to less serotonin, stress on job in family what ever!
I know reasons can change and are not always the same. But some things do come back for us sometimes and I think more than just me experience that!
So what are some of your main struggles?
I’m pretty tired of my shit xD it feels super stupid cause this nuts part of me is just ruining everything and overagain all the progress I make!
I’m currently fine! But I feel that silly guy coming up in the back of my brain. But I told myself to get my shit together until I have that stupid driving license
after that I reached it all in life and can go nuts in peace
Jul 22, 2024
Edit: sorry wasn’t able to use the right words my question is not if it is normal that life has up and downs the question is what are things that bring you to fall.
For me its just often that I have phases were I just have fun fucking up myself. I like to get high on my lows until I crash on the ground and find myself back in mind hell. Then I start working again on it and try riverine better and it’s a shit ton of work and I don’t get why my brain is so silly and thinks this is funny.
I’m wonderi if any ppl here sometimes cause their down phase themselves or if it’s more other stuff like a depressive episode, to less serotonin, stress on job in family what ever!
I know reasons can change and are not always the same. But some things do come back for us sometimes and I think more than just me experience that!
So what are some of your main struggles?
I’m pretty tired of my shit xD it feels super stupid cause this nuts part of me is just ruining everything and overagain all the progress I make!
I’m currently fine! But I feel that silly guy coming up in the back of my brain. But I told myself to get my shit together until I have that stupid driving license
after that I reached it all in life and can go nuts in peaceJul 22, 2024#question
Comments
I definitely can relate to this, and I also know the reason why I personally do it ( referring to self sabotage & causing myself to fall down into lows on purpose)
I thrive on emotional validation. As a child I wasn't given enough, I was constantly ignored and my mother's emotional needs were always put above my own. EXCEPT I was only given attention and my emotional needs met when I went to extremes to get it (like,, say I was ignored as a child if I scraped my knee, if I cried for help, but only got the emotional attention I needed when I broke my arm. I never broke my arm this is a hypothetical) It didn't help that I naturally just feel my emotions more intensely than most people— you could call me highly sensitive I guess? But it mostly just means I have a low tolerance threshold for whether or not something will traumatize me. Like I got PTSD symptoms from a car accident I was in where nobody was injured.
Anyway, basically now in my adulthood I don't believe that any sort of pain I'm feeling is actually "real" unless I find other ways of having it validated as such. And usually this involves going to extremes just to validate my own pain to myself. I don't feel like it's real unless it's at its most extreme. So if I'm struggling I HAVE to make it worse in order to make myself feel "better". This is also why I engage in s*lf harm,it's a way to physically validate my pain. I can look down at my scars and see, physically, proof that I was hurting. And other people can too. It feels really nice imo
I also self sabotage like this to get attention from other people. I struggle a lot with addiction but if I'm 100% honest I originally gave myself an addiction to get attention from someone else in my life at the time. I'm sure I was already predisposed to addiction etc. But the reason I fully allowed myself off the deep end was ultimately so that I had the secure knowledge that said person still cared about me.
LMAO anyway this is just pure BPD symptoms
I thrive on emotional validation. As a child I wasn't given enough, I was constantly ignored and my mother's emotional needs were always put above my own. EXCEPT I was only given attention and my emotional needs met when I went to extremes to get it (like,, say I was ignored as a child if I scraped my knee, if I cried for help, but only got the emotional attention I needed when I broke my arm. I never broke my arm this is a hypothetical) It didn't help that I naturally just feel my emotions more intensely than most people— you could call me highly sensitive I guess? But it mostly just means I have a low tolerance threshold for whether or not something will traumatize me. Like I got PTSD symptoms from a car accident I was in where nobody was injured.
Anyway, basically now in my adulthood I don't believe that any sort of pain I'm feeling is actually "real" unless I find other ways of having it validated as such. And usually this involves going to extremes just to validate my own pain to myself. I don't feel like it's real unless it's at its most extreme. So if I'm struggling I HAVE to make it worse in order to make myself feel "better". This is also why I engage in s*lf harm,it's a way to physically validate my pain. I can look down at my scars and see, physically, proof that I was hurting. And other people can too. It feels really nice imo
I also self sabotage like this to get attention from other people. I struggle a lot with addiction but if I'm 100% honest I originally gave myself an addiction to get attention from someone else in my life at the time. I'm sure I was already predisposed to addiction etc. But the reason I fully allowed myself off the deep end was ultimately so that I had the secure knowledge that said person still cared about me.
LMAO anyway this is just pure BPD symptoms
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•Lots of destructive thoughts in the down hill, mixed with the glorious depression, it's usually the same thoughts in different forms, and the work to get up again is real (still shaky after the last one, it lingers really long). It's not in the low parts that I can get things "done", like figuring out wtf is going on, more when head is above water again. And have tried over and over to figure out what brings the fall, I just do not know, but it is the bag that comes with the diagnosis. But handle stress and some interactions poorly when I'm on the edge, much self loathing, and it for sure is making the fall quicker xD
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•I have been diagnosed with MDD and PTSD back in 2022 but have struggled with mental health since I was born. From my experience, my struggles with mental health have been up and down. There are days when I am happy and productive. Then there are days when I can't even laugh, smile or even get out of bed for work. I don't know about your experience, but from my own, my mental health is very intertwined with my environment. The city I used to live in was practically DESTROYING me both physically and mentally. As soon as I moved away to a town nearby, my entire person improved massively. I realized that mental health and environments go hand-in-hand for many people who struggle. If I can suggest something to help you reedshrine, I suggest changing something in your environment to help avoid these crashes you've been experiencing. It could be something like cleaning your living space, finding a cafe to hang out at, getting a low maintenance pet or finding an extra hobby! Any small change that will put positivity back into your environment. You'll be surprised how good it will feel to do something new.
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