A new light
It’s been approximately 14 weeks since that early morning of January 11th. You’re getting bigger each day.I can still picture how you looked when you first came to this world. I can still picture how you father looked at you. I can still feel the exhaustion I felt though all of it.
One day I’ll be able to tell you the whole tale of the events leading up to your birth. From Christmas time, where your father came home sick from work. Your mother is very hard headed, she didn’t think she would get sick from what seemed like a little cold.
Then, your father lost his sense of smell, then his sense of taste. Then, your mother lost her sense of smell. Still, we didn’t take it seriously. Your father recovered easily. Usually your mother was as healthy as a horse, but while your father was fully recovered, your mom just got sicker.
Eventually, it got to the point where my body was extremely sore. I stayed in my bed unless I had to use the bathroom. Your father worked and did all the house work the week prior to when we went to the hospital.
It was Friday the 8th, at that point I could barely walk, I was warm, and I couldn’t take a steady breath. Your father drove me, but with the pandemic he wasn’t allowed to come in the hospital with me. I was terrified to go alone, but I knew I had to figure this sickness out before you were supposed to come.
I was 39 weeks pregnant the day I was admitted. They took samples of my blood, and gave me a Covid test. Eventually, I was given a temporary room. Where I wasn’t allowed to eat or drink, but I was given an IV as well as oxygen. I sat for hours and hours that day. I was given another covid test. Later, In the middle of the night I was moved up to a more proper room, and I was allowed food.
The next day, I had what I could only describe as an asthma attack. I was administered an inhaler and My oxygen levels were risen after that, and I was given a third covid test. But I knew I wasn’t getting any better.
My body was doing a job that prevented me from recovering. It was busy growing and protecting you, it was sacrificing itself to keep you alive. As much as I wanted you to come right on your due date, I asked my doctor to induce me. It was around 11 pm on Sunday evening when I started having contractions. They were more painful than anything I had ever experienced. After that I was moved to labor and delivery, and I was given another covid test.
Your father was finally able to join us, he looked how I felt, terrified. I received an epidural, which I took without a peep. Soon after it kicked in, I was pushing. You were out in three sets of two, it was only a six hour period from my induction to when you were on the world. All the while I was wearing an oxygen mask.
I couldn’t hold you that day, and I couldn’t hold you the next day either, or the next. The covid test finally came back positive four tries later. So I was quarantined and given a special medication that was supposed to help the sickness. But I felt better each day.
Eventually your father took you home, and the day after, I was finally allowed home.
That day, the 15th of January was the first time I held you, the first time I fed you, and changed you.
I love you so much my son. You are my new light, my new purpose. I haven’t known you long, but I love you more than I can describe.
Love,
Mom
Please remember to social distance and wear a mask. Currently both my boyfriend and I are not traveling and doing work from home to protect ourselves and our baby after that instance.Apr 20, 2021
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