Judd Skywalker (Read caption at your own risk)

The other day after watching a Star Wars fan film I got this idea for the kind of characters I would create if I were the one running the Star Wars franchise into the ground. My idea was for a white trash Jedi named Judd Skywalker, who lived in a trailer on planet Florida, in the outer rim of the galaxy. Judd learned to use the Force at a young age, and now he uses the ancient Jedi arts to brew Force Light beer, a refreshing beer made with the clean glacial waters of Hoth for that crisp, cold taste that will quench your thirst in under 12 parsecs (and yes, he knows that a parsec is a unit of distance and not time).

Judd's arch-enemy is the notorious Darth Cletus (basically a knock-off of Buford T. Justice), evil Sith Lord who enforces the law around the outer rim. Darth Cletus doesn't take kindly to degenerates like Judd Skywalker who brew and sell their beer without the Empire getting their share of the revenue. 'Cause that's called bootleggin', son. Also, Darth Cletus is mad because he only drinks Force Dark, a robust, full-bodied beer made with grains deep-roasted in the fires of Mustafar. One sip and you'll be ready to crush the rebellion and your thirst.

Anyway, I was gonna draw out a whole mock commercial, but I lost interest faster than a real estate investor looking for property on Aldaraan. So I thought I'd just post this and give you a glimpse into my mind and what's wrong with it